The Fortnightly Dispatch

The Cat Is On Fire!

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It has been a crazy few weeks, and my ADHD got the better of me. Returning from my trip to Western Australia, I got a serious dose of the holiday blues. On top of that, my teacher wage stopped dead in its tracks after leaving the profession and I was left thinking, 'Holy shit... what have I done?'. I knew that the money would stop of course, but I had forgotten to prepare any savings to see me through the challenges of starting a new business. Oops!

Three days back home and the gorgeous, sexy, incredible hunk of metal that is my car was side swiped and deemed by my insurance as unsafe to drive. FUCK! A seething bull x savage pitbull was the form I took on that day. So I was now without wheels.

To add to that, a HUGE storm then hit Melbourne, blasting me back to medieval times. It seemed that ALL power lines in my area had been affected. No power for 24 hours. No phone signal for 24 hours. No 3G/4G/5G for 4 days. No wifi for 4 days. What's a girl to do?! I took it upon myself that this would be the week to transport myself into the world of fiction. After forgetting about the existence of candles and sitting in the dark until around 6 hours into the power outage, I sat myself in bed and read by candlelight... such bliss! But good things never do seem to last, do they?

At 3am the following morning, I cannot sleep. I have the bright idea to light the candles I placed at my bedside the night before, and pick up my book once again. An hour later, I hear the padding of footsteps entering my room. My darling (idiot) cat, Toula, had come to pay me a visit. Onto the bedside table she jumps. Time stands still...

She lands like a pro, missing a candle by mere centimetres. I feel the tension in my body subside. But hang on... what's this? The air whips around as she jumps, causing the flame to dance wildly. The ballerina flame decided that grooving wasn't enough, and proceeded to lick Toula across the side of her body.

Up in flames she goes... boof! THE CAT IS ON FIRE! My brain whirrs into action. What do I do? There was only one thing for it, so I proceeded to blow out my cat like she was a birthday cake. (There's a sentence I never thought I would say.) Fortunately, the only damage to Toula was a wounded ego, singed fur, and a newfound fear of candles. No visit to the vet was needed. Needless to say, there are now NO candles in my bedroom. Praise be for electricity!

'Why does this stuff ALWAYS happen to you?!', people ask me. And to be honest, I think the same! Chaos, ridiculousness, misfortune and drama seems to follow me around wherever I go. At first, I would wallow in these series of unfortunate events and allow them to take over me. I finally learnt to accept them as a part of life, and have begun to embrace them wholeheartedly. Nothing makes for quite as hilarious a story than the ridiculously unbelievable, such as blowing out cats. I am now the favourite storyteller around town!

After all the drama... I am still alive, happy and well. Yes, my stress levels peaked to atmospheric heights. Yes, my lifespan has decreased by at least 10 years as a result. BUT I (and Toula) lived to tell the tale. Through anchoring, mindfulness, storytelling, and coaching, I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you also find that chaos follows you around? Can you never seem to catch a break? Does the overwhelming stress of life threaten to cripple you? Do you over-identify with misfortune and need to change your story? If so, this is absolutely something we can cover together in coaching. Check out my website for more information.